Looking back 5 years

I have been thinking a lot lately about how much I regret the way I acted and treated people when I was in high school--and even in college. Pretty much until I got married. Jason has made me a much, much better person. I used to be so petty. I had to be the center of attention and if I wasn't, then I wasn't happy. If someone else was getting more attention than I was (especially if it was from a boy), then I automatically didn't like them. It didn't matter how truly great a person they were. I did a lot of things that I didn't really care that much about just because I was petty and I didn't want someone else to do it without me. I didn't have a good understanding of how my actions affected people, and so I think I hurt and offended a lot of really good people.
I shudder when I think about some of the things I did, some of the things I said, and the way I acted sometimes. I hope that the people who knew me back then are understanding and have forgiven me for my jealousy, my insecurity, my gossip, my pettiness, my immaturity... I feel like I have really grown up a lot. I'm not perfect (by any means!) but I am getting better. Marriage has shown me that everything isn't always about me. I've learned to enjoy other people more and not always be so focused on my own needs.
I hope that Jen doesn't mind that I kind of stole her latest blog entry :) We were just talking about this, and so I'm glad that at least one other person feels the same way. Teenagers really are just so immature, and you don't recognize it in yourself until several years later, when it's sometimes too late to repair relationships. I hope that it isn't too late for me, and that I am able to reconnect with some of the people that saw me at my worst.